Continuing to Heal

I know I've been really vague about what I've been going through the past week, and I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to talk about it on such a public forum. I'm still healing right now. That's important. I finished the cashmere/merino scarf about half an hour ago. Those two things are important together (not the cashmere and merino, but the finishing and the healing). When I started the scarf this weekend, I was worrying that I was knitting my problems into it, and that I would never be able to wear it, because it would become a reminder of the past few days, like a noose around my neck whenever I wore it.



However, the past few days have been about finding myself, and that was part of this scarf's journey. This scarf followed me through pain and into healing, and it's story is not one of hurt, but of strength in the face of hurt. This scarf is a shield. Maybe I will think about the hurt of the past few days when I wear it, but I will also be reminded that that hurt led me to my own inner strength.



I can't decide if I like this picture of myself or not. I definitely like how the scarf looks in it though.

Today Lauren (yes, THAT Lauren) suggested that I make a matching hat, which I think is a great idea, especially because I had a whole skein of the blue left, plus the leftover few yards from each of the other skeins. I just cast it on, maybe I'll have it for you tomorrow. I'm still planning on adding fringe to the scarf, but I'm going to wait to see how much yarn I have left after the hat. That's why the ends are still hanging loose on the first picture.

Lauren and I also went to yoga today. It was a great class, and it was absolutely what I needed after I ran yesterday (my legs hurt). I hadn't run in a very long while. Running has always been spiritual for me. Yesterday's run was my way of finding strength. I ran until I hurt all over and didn't know if I could finish the last lap, and that was when I told myself, that if I couldn't find the strength to finish, I couldn't find the strength to take care of myself. That thought kept me going to the end, and that was what was important.

Thing to be grateful for today: Superheroes as opposed to warriors (I'm looking at you, Lauren).