Dissapointment

I'm writing a quickie today, because I've been up since five thirty this morning. I had to get up and drive (or rather, ride, someone else drove) to San Antonio for "Sprachfest", a German language competition. Once there, I had a chai tea latte, did a poetry reading after which the judge asked me if I was a native speaker of German (I've been taking German for four weeks now, the fact that she can understand me at all is an accomplishment), and then finally totally arsed up a duet acting skit. Somehow both things managed to be worth sending me to state for (fortunately state is closer to home).
I just got back from my High School's talent show where I thoroughly disappointed myself. I was supposed to read a poem, but I got afraid and decided that I really didn't want to do it, so I took my name off of the list. Then I found out that there was a program...DUDES, I was ON THE PROGRAM! So I spent the entire night getting asked why I hadn't read, and feeling awful.
It isn't as if I haven't read poetry in front of crowds before, I used to do it all the time. Somehow though, I just got very nervous (I always do, I guess the difference here is that I succumbed), and that just thoroughly messed up my self esteem. Anyway, I'm going to bed now because it is almost eleven thirty, which would mean that I've been up for going on eighteen hours now...Yeah, night...

Thing to be grateful for today: Hindsight