Monday, May 31, 2010
It's Here...
You could see that immediately upon walking into the pool today. It was crowded...very crowded...I spent a wonderful day laying in the sun and swimming with all of my awesome friends. It was actually a good-bye party for one of my dear pals who is moving back to Spain this summer, but it was still a really wonderful time and everyone who went really enjoyed it. We started around midday and it was really freaking hot, but that was ok, because the pool itself is a chilly 68 degrees Fahrenheit, so once you've gotten in, your body is more than happy to be in the sun for a while.
At one point, we walked down to get food. We decided on traditional summer food, burgers, fries, milkshakes, etc. Yet again, the summer's presence was denoted by the large crowd at this traditional summer hot spot (hahhaha!). On our way back though, look what I saw!!!
A real life knitting graffiti artist at work! In the spirit of total nerdiness, I took this picture holding up my current project, which I was of course toting around with me the whole time. It was tons of fun. Thanks to Reed for taking this picture for me.
You want to know the true sign that it was summer? See that piece of knitting up there? I didn't knit a stitch of it today.
Thing to be grateful for today: FUN!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
A Midsummer Night's Dream
I took very little issue with the show. It stuck, for the most part, to the original text, relying on costuming and small line changes to bring the show into a 1950's setting. The major difference was, not surprisingly, the show's transformation into a rock opera. The songs were short and few, which was a blessing as few of them really did much to add to the show I'm afraid. All of the actors though were quite good.
Puck stole the show. He was funny, clever, wild, and sexy all at once, everything a good Puck should be. I'm not sure who this guy is (I'll find out), but he really gave new and powerful life to one of my absolute favorite Shakespearean characters. His delivery of the final lines of the show was beautifully done and I'm so grateful to have seen him perform.
Thing to be grateful for today: See above.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Quickie
So I've been running around all day (cleaning house, making food, going to the bank, etc.), and am at my house for a brief, relaxing few minutes before heading out again, so I figured I ought to drop a line now. Love you guys!
Thing to be grateful for today: Endings that are only beginnings in suits.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Homework
Don't get me wrong. I love school. I love to learn, and I love my friends and my teachers (most of them), but eleventh grade has been very hard. In fact, if I'm being totally honest, it pretty much kicked the shit out of me. I'm glad that it's over, but I'm also entirely grateful to have had the experience, because I've noticed that the hardest parts of my life also happen to be the times that I learn the most.
Wow. I just got distracted for an hour going through the Savage Love archives...
You know what, if you don't know what Savage Love is, go google it. NOW!
Thing to be grateful for today: NO HOMEWORK!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
One Day More
Anyway, I've got one last night with WAY too much homework (yay for procrastination and early onset senioritis!). Tomorrow, blogging resumes with better posts.
Thing to be grateful for today: Endings.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Pretty colors...
LOOK AT THE PRETTY COLORS!!!
Thing to be grateful for today: My teachers that let me knit in class.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
SO CLOSE!!!!!!
Thing to be grateful for today: Essays that interest me.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Seriously
I love you all.
Thing to be grateful for today: The nice people who've helped me get home this year when I was at school without a ride.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
EDIT!!!!
Anyway, I really appreciate those of you who read every day and am ALWAYS ready to hear criticism. If you think a post is absolute, total crap, please tell me. I'm trying to use this blog as a tool to become a better writer, and last night I did not post anything close to my potential. That was so far away from what I like to think of as my potential that it was on another planet.
I wish I had more time to write on the blog tonight, but I have to write four lab write-ups for my botany class and a first draft of my 2000 word paper on Japanese involvement in World War II. Here's to next week, when I will no longer be in this living hell called eleventh grade.
Thing to be grateful for today: The finish line that I can almost see.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Fate
For a week or so, my mom have been planning on going to our bank and starting up a debit account under my name so I won't have to carry around shit-tons of money while I'm in Germany. My mom and I went ahead and did it this morning. We went to our bank, which is about five minutes away from our house, and had just sat down with a woman who was going to help us create my account when we found out that we needed my social security number to do so and had to go back to the house to get it.
When we came back, the woman who had been helping us before was busy, so we were handed off to another woman. This woman told us that this was not her regular branch and that she was just there for the day. We began setting up the account, and in doing so had to of course explain that I would be using my card in Germany next month. It turns out that this woman was half-German and she and I ended up talking for a good half hour about the country and its people and history. It was amazing.
She told me about visiting the country, not only as a child, but later on as an adult, and about her relatives who lived there. She hadn't been there for a visit for years. We both attempted to speak German to one another, though neither of us were particularly successful. By the end of it, we both felt very good. She and I hugged. It was very emotional and beautiful.
To think that, had I decided to get my account set up another day, or had she been at her normal branch, or had my mom and I brought my social security number with us to begin with, I never would have met this woman who filled me with confidence about my trip. She told me that our talk had reminded her of how much she missed her family in Germany and had inspired her to try and go as soon as possible, so I like to think that it was really good for the both of us.
That was one of those moments where I plainly see God at work.
Thing to be grateful for today: Little acts of fate.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Amelie
Amelie is a movie that is, simply put, about life. It isn't about a particularly extraordinary life, just your average one. It is about human nature and the differencecs between living and being an organism. I highly suggest that you watch it (now!).
Thing to be grateful for today: Haircuts
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Busy!
*Sweep sweep sweep*
Thing to be grateful for today: The writers of Lost sort of redeemed themselves this week.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Inspiration Fail
The past twenty-four hours have been a culmination of the stress of the past five months (junior year of high school sucks) flying out of my body with a speed only comparable to that of a five year old when left alone in a room with your favorite book and a box of crayons (the horror!).
What I'm trying to say is, yesterday I was reduced to a screaming mess. It was not my proudest moment. Essentially what happened was, I felt wronged by one of my teachers, and the poor man felt the brute, emotional force of a seventeen year old boy going through a very emotional period of his life. He had no idea what he'd unleashed.
The next day I felt terrible for yelling at him and went to apologize, while still sticking to my firm belief that I as 100% correct in my opinion that he had acted unfairly. That chat did not go as well as I'd liked, but after reflecting about it the rest of the day and having one of the adults in my life that I have the most respect for pointed out just how genuinely kind of a person this man normally is, I went back and made sure that he knew that I really care about him and that he had just picked a terrible time to piss me off.
Lesson of the day: Sometimes, you don't even know how pissed off you are until you take it all out on someone who really doesn't deserve it.
Solution of the day: Know thyself (better than that)
Thing to be grateful for today: That I am a human and that that makes me capable of looking at my mistakes and learning from them.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Always All
Second of all, I'd like to apologize to everyone who doesn't get the "yes, that Lauren" joke. You're truly a worse person because of it.
Third of all, I'd like to tell you all that I finished the socks today.
Fourth of all, I'd like to show you a picture of said socks, but I can't, because now my computer and my camera are refusing to be friends. Technology is stupid.
Fifth of all, I'd like to go to sleep.
Thing to be grateful for today: Hindsight is twenty-twenty.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Clarity
My play is finally out of the "rampant creativity" stage and into the "let's take all of these ideas, sift through them, and see what works" stage, also known as the refinement stage. That's REALLY exciting because it means that I get to start working on the meat of the thing, and not just the fantasy.
I also have a near-complete pair of socks!
I'm really happy with these, and I think that my next pair will be cabled again.
All right, well that's about it tonight.
Thing to be grateful for today: Opportunities to do something that seems very small for me but is very important for someone else, and the feeling that that gives me.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
LOOK!!!
That button means that I WON!!! I WON DAMMIT!
Also, I washed the socks for the first time last week. Hold your gasps of horror, I'd only worn them twice, BECAUSE I wasn't sure if they could be machine-washed or not. I found out that they could, popped them in the washer and dryer, and out came what appeared to be smaller socks. I was horrified and awful visions of having to actually give my mother a piece of knitting (she'll get the joke) ran through my head!! Then, I stuck one on and realized that the wash had not shrunk it, but instead compacted it. Now, the socks are a nice, snug fit, which is really quite a lot better than loosy-goosy socks that, while they look cool, kinda droop. The sock no longer have ANY droop, and I thoroughly approve of machine-washed hand-knit socks. They are probably my new favorite thing ever.
That's about it for today.
Thing to be grateful for today: How easy it was to get the second sock of the Alex Through the Looking Glass set back onto it's needles (long story. I'll have a whole blog for it later).
Friday, May 14, 2010
Sing It Out
The message of Glee has been the same since day one; everybody is an outcast on some level. At first glance, that's a really depressing message, but its deeper than the surface level. If everyone is an outcast, then no one is, and that means that everyone has at least ONE thing in common other than being human. We can all say that, at some point or another, we've felt rejected and "too different". We're all a bit quirky and have things that many people do not like about us, and that's actually very beautiful. Because we are all like that, we can all relate to the message of Glee and to one another.
I know that this is a bit weird, but one reason I like Glee is that I am the kind of person who desperately wishes it was socially acceptable to burst out into song to express how you feel. Those of you who know me very well at all know that I'm a very expressive person, but that doesn't mean I always feel comfortable being so expressive and clear with my emotions. I think that part of that is because I am uncomfortable feeling real, burning anger. Social norms require that we, to a certain extent, bridle in our feelings. Song though, song lets you be just who you are, no questions. One of my best outlets for anger is singing. When you're so pissed you feel like you might burst it can be really amazing to turn on a wild, loud song and sing until you're mouth is dry and your lungs are empty. Glee lets me pretend for forty-five minutes that it's ok to open my mouth and sing out my feelings.
Glee is actually a very magical show. The writing can be lackluster, but it's normally pretty good, and all of the characters are great. The actors and actresses on Glee are all very talented and know just how to express what it is to be living in adolescence. When I watch Glee, I often feel that the characters are like overblown versions of the people I know and love. It inspires me and let's me feel like I'm not the only one who sings when life is too much.
I know that I've been writing about Glee this whole time, but I need just one moment for another show that I love, Heroes. Today, it was announced that, after four seasons, Heroes has been canceled. Let's all please take a moment of silence for one of my absolute favorite shows. Heroes plays into an essential part of who I am, my fascination with superpowers. I've loved the idea of having a superhuman ability since I was very small, and still am. I think about it all the time. Sometimes, I'll be in a totally every day situation and wonder what it would be like if I had some ability or another.
Thing to be grateful for today: Theater
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Foolish!
Thing to be grateful for today: MY LOVELY AND UNDERSTANDING READERS!!!
(Also this quote: "Gay marriage will lead to bestiality. Just like giving women the right to vote led to hamster's having the right to vote.")
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Blurgh...
Basically, I have two socks that are kicking my ass right now. I brought two different socks, from two different pairs around with me today so that I could be assure knitting all day. That didn't work out so well. Around four o'clock, I found myself with one sock that I had taken off of the needles to pull halfway out. Of course, I had been stupid and left the needles in my car, so I couldn't even put the sock back on the dang things. "Never fear," I thought to myself. You have your second sock to work on. Unfortunately, that sock required very specific cabling that I needed a cable needle for. Guess what? No cable needle. I deconstructed a pen and used its inner-most piece to cable...and then looked back and saw a mistake half a row back. Normally, half a row back is not such a big deal, but when it is in sock yarn, with a cable every few stitches, and the cables are sprouting of stitches that you magically created the row before, and so if they drop, you can't pick them up, because they cease to exist, it can be a LITTLE BIT STRESSFUL!!!!
They say that knitting calms a person down. I don't know who "they" are, but they're a bunch of goddamn liars!
(Disclaimer: I love knitting except for days like this when the sight of my pointy, too-effeminate (I hate that they're pink) double-pointed needles (I also hate that they're double-pointed...don't ask) sticking out of my bag is a horrible reminder of my failures.)
Thing to be grateful for today: That knitting is not my job and my family does not rely on me to churn out knitted objects to survive.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Like a Speeding Train Full of Bricks, Really
Pilgimages, as I understand them, are religious journeys whereby an individual discovers themselves and God or pays some kind of penance by walking. I identify with all but the latter goal. For me, the idea of walking from France and into and across Spain as a mostly solitary quest for self and God is incredibly appealing. There are monasteries and inns all along the way that are very used to pilgrims and show excellent hospitality to them.
The route I am most seriously considering--though, of course, this is all still seriously in the speculation and wishing stage because I haven't spoken to many people at all about it, including my parents and I wouldn't just fly across the Atlantic and walk around Europe without some SERIOUS planning--ahem--the route I am most seriously considering is "el camino primitivo", which is a very traditional path, but not the most common one today. El camino primitivo is about 200 miles through Spain with little in the way of flat terrain as I understand it. I've been reading up on the paths and the benefits of el camino primitivo is that the people along it are supposed to be incredibly friendly and helpful and that the path is not as horribly crowded as the most popular path, "el camino Frances."
If I were to take the pilgrimage, I would do it next summer (not in a month, but in thirteen), which would mean I would be just getting out of high school and will have already been to Europe once and had that experience. I will have also had over a year to plan the trip and make sure that I'm totally prepared; if I seriously start considering and planning this I'm going to have to start walking EVERYWHERE to get my legs ready.
Well, anyway, I thought I'd share my fanciful dream with you tonight. If it doesn't work out next summer, maybe I'll do it while I'm in college or later. I'd absolutely love to do it, because I think a trip like that could be good for me in a crazy amount of ways, but I won't be completely heartbroken if I don't get to do it next year, because I have an entire life ahead of me to do with what I will.
Thing to be grateful for today: Discovery.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Poetic Double Whamee!
"An Expression of Adolescent Rage"
For some reason (unknown)
I can't think,
can't speak,
can't write.
Can't know.
Can't EXPRESS!
My feelings so raging, writhe
like a million manatees
SCREAMING
for my ATTENTION!
(What winged demons do catch it?)
For HOW I THINK
(too far)
With these beasts under my hair?
How can I know myself
from them? how can I be?
(And YOU!)
You who says
(You think you know what you speak)
I write for you(?!)
And you alone.
(The mirror's friend can know what you mean.)
How simplistic you are!
(And childish)
And YOU too, who knows NOT!
(But why should they?)
How I Think I Feel.
(But how should I know
with manatees raging
'neath my skull.)
How dare?
How dare you not know
What I THINK I FEEL?
(What I cannot know
(for clouds))
I write!
I write for you
(and you too)
I write not exclusively
for you(you too).
I write for many!
things.
Bees! and Bears! and tress,
I write. for me. for you.
(you too)
I write for bees-
and bears-
(trees)
I-
write for me.
"Dirge for My Mathematical Honor"
Trapped.
The slow downfall of rain dulls my-
heavying senses,
And I can't calculate--
the answer.
("In life, you will encounter lots of problems with more than one answer and you might have some rounding error.")
Thing to be grateful for today: Breaking out of form.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day
Yeah, that's right. I make drop biscuits instead of using a cookie cutter. Wanna make somethin' of it?
You can't tell, but there was garlic and red bell pepper under all that green. See the little bit of it peaking out in the bottom corner? Those vegetables went into some great eggs Florentine, if I do say so myself.
It was all very good.
This is what my mother did today.
Thing to be grateful for today: All of the wonderful mothers in my life, my own in particular.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Cleaning House
I have to say, I'm impressed with myself. Go and compare that to the picture I posted this morning. It turns out that I do in fact have a desk and not a barge of floating garbage on one side of my room. I didn't get around to vacuuming, because by the time it was ready for that, the rest of the house was asleep. I'll have to do that tomorrow morning for sure, because the floor is disgusting (I hate carpet, I very much want to pull mine up and make it stained concrete or wood).
I don't think my desk has ever looked this good. Ever. I quite like the way I arranged everything (I fiddled and experimented with that a lot). I wish the picture weren't so crappy, but not enough to go back and take another one (don't judge, it's almost one o'clock in the morning).
The knitting area always looks a little trashed, but that's because there is only so much organizing you can do with a bunch of plastic bags filled with yarn mixed up with smaller plastic bags that have half-finished projects in them. I at least have the shelves in the background organized, and in my defense the contents of the bags ARE organized.
Cleaning out my room was very therapeutic for me. Not only did I reorganize the things that are in there, but I also removed the things that I did not need or want. I dove into the depths of my room, reaching into its darkest corners, and examined its contents fully. I now know pretty much exactly what is in my room, and have a reason for everything being there.
The process of going through all of my things like that physically also had me sifting through myself and finding the things I did and did not need. It amazed me how simple things like finding a sugar-free mint on my floor could bring up so much emotion for me. Cleaning off my desk I discovered old scraps of paper with poems I'd forgotten about scrawled across. I found 41 old letters from the most difficult period of my childhood in a box in my closet. I sat down on the floor and took the time to read each and every one. They're back in my closet now.
Thing to be grateful for today: Mints.
Never Again
Friday, May 7, 2010
Flight
Not all surfaces are created equal. I hate running on concrete. I can't stand it. I can never go as far as I want to and the next day my knees creak like nobody's business! Personally, I like gravel. It's softer than concrete, but doesn't give enough to take away your natural spring. That's why I run on our local Hike and Bike trail. The full loop is about three and half miles, which is a great amount for me to be running right now. The heat makes it harder, but its so beautiful outside that I don't really notice.
Sometimes, when I'm at the beginning of a run, or otherwise not so exhausted during one that I can focus on the conversations around me, I hear very funny things indeed. I pass all kinds of people on the trail from all walks of life. It's fascinating,
When I was younger, my mother and I would go out to the trail all the time. There were times where we went almost every day. At that time I walked, and it was beautiful, but it wasn't beautiful like running is. Walking allowed me to really absorb everything fully and see what was around me. Running is internal beauty blending in with external beauty like a watercolor that's bleeding. There's a point in your run where you become so worn out that you have to pretend your body is a part of the landscape, and it is moving because that is all it can do, and so you keep going, feeling that you are at one with your surroundings. The freedom of running can open you up to the cosmos if you let it. Will you let it in?
Thing to be grateful for today: Freedom.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Amber Alert!
PLEASE be on the lookout and do all you can to try and help this girl get home safely. Spread the word!
Here is a picture of the suspected kidnapper! http://images.news8austin.com/media/2010/5/6/images/02rojas.jpg
Thing to be grateful for today: The programs that help us to find missing children.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Busy Busy Busy
The End All, Lose All
A young man, stumbling,
(Blind.
Broken.
Heartless)
Towards the end all,
Lose all.
The shade of suburbia
Lies
Shattered at his feet.
Burning oil drums line the pavement.
(So many lost boys
Holding candles of hellfire,
The wax dripping
Down their burnt digits.)
The light catches his eyes,
And you’ve seen them before:
When bombs are dropped
On innocent souls in the night;
When sweaty burgers are shoved
Down gullets into swollen bellies;
In the faces of chemotherapy skeletons
Lying prone on hospital beds;
In your own face
(Creeping closer).
He falls to the dusty concrete,
Shallow cheek pressed to the ground.
Next to him is a fallen barrel,
Its oil spread into a sticky pool.
He lifts himself up on quaking arms,
Stares deep at his own reflection in the pool,
And with a self-satisfied grin,
Collapses,
Not to breathe again.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Random Knitting Rant
'
I have no regrets.
It's 28.5". That's not bad at all. Of course, if I want to stick my plan and have it totally blocked and unpinned so I can sleep under it on the first night of 2011, but not finish knitting in November and then put off blocking it for a month, rather than actually knitting it throughout and to the end of 2010, I'll have to start pacing myself. Maybe one row a day? I REALLY want to still be knitting this thing on Christmas. In FACT maybe I'll make that the official cast off date. Sounds like a plan. Here we are then: Official cast off date for the blanket is December 25th, 2010.
Anyway, tomorrow I hope to have a finished project to show you. Today though, not so much. I've got a couple of neat things running around my head, and I'm trying to give them a firm, WAIT, because I need projects to work on for Germany. The plan right now is to knit one sock on the journey there and one on the journey back, but we'll see how that goes. I'll want to bring the blanket, though I'll probably just put the second piece on hold and start the third one IN Germany so I can carry it around more easily...a third project for the trip is almost certain. Non-knitters, don't judge.
Thing to be grateful for today: The people who I know will listen and the people who I know will tell me I'm wrong.
Monday, May 3, 2010
May Is for Finishing
My veil painting.
My journal (Well, technically I'd like to be done with this on the last day of school, that way I could, on the first day of summer, start writing in the new fancy journal that I bought in Amherst ).
My Rosetta Stone Program in German (well, technically, I'd like to finish most of it this month and then work intensively on it the first week of summer, just before I go to Germany).
Speaking of the German trip, I thought I ought to start talking about my plans because, as you might have guessed, I won't be able to blog while I'm there, or at least not every day. Therefore, I have to figure out something to do. I have a few ideas. I'm fairly certain that I'll need a guest blogger, though I might distribute the chore between a few people if Lauren doesn't feel up to writing a little something every day. I'm also planning on writing a little something (poetry, journal entries, etc.) every day, and then posting it all in one uber-post when I get back. How does that sound to you guys? Maybe my mother would like to put up a few posts while I'm gone?
Thing to be grateful for today: Making it through.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The next order of business is to announce the winner of last week's philosophic question response drawing. Will, you get a hat. Come talk to me and we'll decide what you want, though I'm pretty sure I already know.
Yesterday was prom at my school.
I wore the socks I made to add some subtle flair to my otherwise colorless attire.
Here's my lovely date, Megan. She was a total charmer. Totally awesome.
It was an amazing night and I have so many people to thank for that.
Thing to be grateful for today: Friends past, present, and future.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
GROUNDED! (Sort of)
Anyway, Gardiner gave me the user name and password to the blog so that you all wouldn't see the blog go dark and think something dreadful had befallen him. He just wanted me to tell you all what has happened so you wouldn't worry, but actually I could say anything I want, couldn't I? And he wouldn't see it for days since he can't use the computer. Bwahaha (rubs hands in an evil-plotting way).
OK, I'm terrible at thinking up mischief since I'm basically a really nice person. Anyone have any ideas?